Sakura Hime Kaden Ch. 11 – A Parody

Y HALO THAR! LONG TIME NO…. EXIST! *shot* Huh, I think I should just rename this blog the Sakura Hime Kaden ramblings blog, because it’s like, the only manga I feel like talking about… That, and female sports manga. I’m tinkering with a post on that topic as we speak. Orrrrr I should call this blog I Will Only Update This When I Am Doing Extreme Procrastination During Exam Periods. Lawl.

*COUGHS* ANYHOW, here’s a parody post. Because I love how ridiculous and crazy SHK is. Arina Tanemura, NEVER CHANGE. (Okay, no. I take that back. Handle transexuality and character death better, Tanemura-sensei but that’s for another post.)

WARNING: SPOILERS EVERYWHERE YOU GO.

Enju: Hello, my darling sister for whom we both have mutually incestuous feelings towards one another! Let’s have a happy family reunion!

Sakura: W-what? You can’t be my brother! My brother was nice! He didn’t turn my maids into monsters and kill off councilors! You’re not the brother I love!

Enju: I have grown, and experienced various hardships which I will use as excuses arguments for my sadomasochistic and douchebaggery behavior!

[MEANWHILE, AT THE PRISON ENTRANCE]

Fuji: La! Watch me hit on prison guards and bring out the booze to charm information out of everyone. I do not only hit on the ladies, it’s all about equal opportunity, baby.

Men love me too

Men love me too

Byakuya: Your ways are too inefficient. Watch me beat the prison guards unconscious to break our way into prison.

Fuji: … I think I prefer my methods. No one gets hurt.

Byakuya: I shall fill my narration with ominous words on how this is the entrance of the prison in which Sakura’s brother was kept in, along with a nice scenic shot of the prison itself. Because clearly Fuji and I are only here so that we can fill in the audience on Enju’s storyline.

behold... PRISON

[FLASHBACK TO ENJU’S DARK AND TRAGIC PAST because if you have mangst then your douchebaggery self is absolved of all sin]

Young!Enju: La, I visit the emperor to convince him to let his son, Prince Oura, to visit my sister! I only want the best for her!

Young!Enju *pinches cheek*

Emperor: Mwuaha, I haz midget demon in my hands. Watch me imprison you in the most hellish way possible even if you’ve never committed a crime for anything beyond simply existing. Oh, that, and Sakura kinda likes you too much in the romantic way. If she is left without a single living relative and only has Aoba for support, she will never betray the human race and work for us only! Also I’ll continue to ramble some misogynist crap about women only ruled by emotions to maximize audience hatred towards me.

Me: Gee, I guess he didn’t think about what’d happen to him and his court if she FOUND OUT. Not the most cunning of master plans, that one.

Enju: And so I was held in a water-filled prison. Which I would die from drowning and come back to life again due to my demon side. Which also made me go crazy, and turned into a full demon in order to break out.

Behold, the face of evil. Mmm~ You know you like 'em bad.

[END FLASHBACK OF ENJU’S MANGSTY BACKSTORY]

Enju: SICK IT TO THESE PATHETIC HUMANS, SAKURA. KILL THEM ALL.

Don't piss this BAMF off!

Sakura: I – I –

Aoba: I decide that this would be an opportune moment to make my appearance! In front of a demon out for human blood, no less!

Aoba and Enju: WE FIGHT OUT OUR LOVE TRIANGLE AS IN TIMES IMMEMORIAL FOR THE HAND OF OUR LOVE. WHO WILL SAKURA CHOOSE, WHOOOOOOOOOO?!

Me: Well – if this was a normal series, Sakura would logically choose Aoba because er, at least he isn’t homicidal.

Sakura: BACK OFF AOBA. DON’T YOU TOUCH MY BROTHER AND MY FIRST LOVE.

No one touches *my* brother, bitches.

Me: … But, this is an Arina Tanemura series. LOLOLOLOLOL YESSSSSSSSSS, *showers this series with love*

Enju: I will now show off my posse of demons before I whisk my one true love and sister, Sakura, away.

Here be Demon Posse

[and as our OTP separates…]

Sakura: *outreached hands* Aobaaaaaaaaaaaa

Aoba: *hand motions back* Sakuraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*

* btw, this was literally part of the dialogue, them just screaming each other’s names. I didn’t even have to make shit up.

Comments:

You guys, I jumped ship. BRING ON MORE ENJUXSAKURA. The more fucked up the relationship, the better. *cackles and pets cover of my OTP*

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1 Response to “Sakura Hime Kaden Ch. 11 – A Parody”


  1. 1 Mint April 29, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    Oh, I should really start following SHK again! Arina is one of my fav shoujo authors but the cheesy plot is killing me xD


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