Sakura Hime Kaden Chapter 9: A Parody

Wow, er, I just disappeared on y’all, didn’t I? ^^; Sorry about that, I’d make up some excuse but honestly I just wasn’t motivated. None of the new anime interested me (except for Kimi ni Todoke), and I was mostly on a manga slump. As an apology, here be gratuitous Sawako pic:

Now, to the main point of this post: what brings me back to the animanga blogging world?

If you guessed Sakura Hime Kaden, YOU’D BE RIGHT. I’m the most predictable person ever, I know.

I was compelled by the cracktastic developments that followed in the latest chapter so I decided to neglect my many papers and studying for exams to write something for Sakura Hime Kaden. Now, before what I usually did was just post my page/panel reactions to the chapter and have commentaries at the end, but thinking about going through all the pages to do so hurt my brain. So I decided to change things up about and will from henceforth talk about each chapters in parody-style, script-format! W00t~~

And the first up on my list is the last chapter I left off: Chapter 9.

SAKURA HIME KADEN CHAPTER 9 – A PARODY

Disclaimer: I mock because I love =D

[OPENING SCENE IN SOME RANDOM COURTLY GARDEN WITH FALLING SAKURA PETALS, BECAUSE JAPAN LOVES THEIR CHERRY BLOSSOMS]

Asagiri: Lo and behold, our show’s mascot will capture falling petals in her hands and say cryptic messages referencing our poor killed deceased Oumi while really I’m taking this time to divulge in angst!face

Angst Face

Fans: Noooooo, it’s like watching a puppy getting kicked. *hearts*

Asagiri: Yes, mission to get higher character ratings through angst!face: Success.

[RESIDENCE OF CROWN PRINCE]

Fuji: Watch me be cheerful as I plan the rest of my days with bride-to-be, Sakura!

Byakuya: I don’t trust the cheerful ones.

Sakura: Watch as I stammer hesitantly about our plans as husband and wife about living together in same quarters.

Fuji: Sorry, doll. Rules of the Heian court, we cannot be in same quarters, restrictions of the times et all.

Sakura: This is totally because I am a demon princess from the moon and no one trusts meeeeeeeeeeee. *face of angst*

Face of Seduction

Fuji: Oh baby, baby, don’t be sad, I’ll be there every day to give you some sweet lovin’, Crown Prince style.

Crowd of women: *swoons*

Fuji: Oh yeah, never miss an opportunity to flirt with the ladies.

[SAKURA’S CARRIAGE]

Sakura: I muse thoughtlessly about that dead snake councillor dude.

Byakuya: !! I got shocking premonition through one of Sakura’s babbles on the source of some vague demonic power that involves Enju and water in some way! But I will not reveal my hunch in my thought process because that would be spoilery! Oh, and I gave Sakura back her life letter.

Sakura: This life letter reminds me of Aoba and the time he shot me. I miss my once-betrothed prince Aoba so, woe is meeeeeeeeeeeee.

Byakuya: Gawd, she never lets up on the self-angst, does she? Here’s a plan, how about we take back your clothes that are in Aoba’s residence, and maybe you can forget the guy who kind of tried to have you killed?

Sakura: NO, MY CLOTHES CAN STAY WITH HIM. May he look upon them and regret the fact he didn’t chase after me when Fuji gave me his proposal!

Byakuya: Er

Sakura: All I need is Oumi’s letter and Asagiri! I can always buy new clothes later, when I need to change out of the ones I’m wearing now.

Byakuya: … And I guess that makes me chopped liver. Everyone shall rue the day they pushed aside the old lady priestess with foreshadowing abilities.

[AOBA’S RESIDENCE]

Aoba: I have received word that Sakura and co has left. It’s a shame that I acted like a complete douche throughout her stay and I couldn’t be a decent gentleman to her and tried being nice before she left. *angst*

Hayate: I greet my man friends with a weapon against their throat! For it is the manly way!

Their friendship is manly

Aoba: Damn straight, bro. Allow me to follow up on that greet with a sucker bitchslap

Hayate: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!

Aoba: YOU AVOIDED ME! MY FEELINGS ARE HURT! I WALLOW IN MANPAIN!

Hayate: I was a FROG. It is not manly to appear frog-like in the presence of friends.

Aoba: And it’s okay with Kohaku?

Hayate: First of all, she ain’t a man. Also, the woman of my dreams is kind of carrying me around in between her breasts, how can I pass that up?

Every boy frog's wet dream

Aoba: … Some guys get all the luck. My girl ditched me.

Hayate: Let’s talk about it!

Aoba: No. Instead I will distract you from your attempt to talk about my feelings by talking about your feelings for Kohaku

Hayate: *rightly distracted*

Kohaku: Boys, I should have known to never trust them to stay on the plan.

Aoba: I will finally man up and talk about my feelings of love by revealing to my childhood friends that I love Sakura but she seems to like another guy so I backed down.

Sakura: *bursts out of nowhere* IDIOT, WHY DID YOU JUST ACCEPT IT AND GIVE UP WHY DIDN’T YOU CHASE AFTER ME I WAS TESTING YOUR LOVE YOU’RE SO STUPID AND UNMANLY AND I WILL THROW WRAPPED CLOTH AT YOU AND GO TEARY EYED AND RUN AWAY NOW.

Me: Er, I thought she was in the carriage? I should stop trying to follow the logic in this manga, I know

Aoba: Following the conventions of shoujo manga I must now run after my fated woman. *runs*

Hayate: Obviously I must take advantage to this moment to grope my one true love!

Kohaku: Remind me, why are we childhood friends again?

[SOME SCENIC GARDEN WHEREIN OUR TWO LOVERS RUN THROUGH THE FIELDS OF LOVE AND ROMANCE]

AOBA: THE OPEN FIELDS ARE DANGEROUS STOP RUNNING

SAKURA: I’M AN IMMORTAL MOON PRINCESS WITH DEMON SLAYING SWORD, I FEAR NO DANGER. AND WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANYWAY? YOU DON’T EVEN LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE MEEEEEEEEEEE.

Aoba: YES I DOOOOOOO LET ME EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN

Sakura: NOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP FOLLOWING ME – *trips over grass*

Aoba: I TOLD YOU IT WAS DANGEROUS.

Sakura: Ugh, my tailor who made these clothes is so fired. These layers are NOT running material

Aoba: I was going to keep yelling at you but I am once again overcome by your crying face. This happens a lot.

Me: Of course you are. I mean, you’re a Arina Tanemura leading man, they all get turned on by crying girls. It’s like, a Arina Tanemura rule.

Face of the Tormented Lover

Sakura: Woe, for I love my attempted killer but I already took up Fujimurasaki’s proposal and no matter how hard I try I can’t forget about you! WHO CAN RESIST THE LOVE OF A MAN WHO STARES YOU DOWN AS HE SHOTS YOU BY THE ARROW?

[FLASHBACK TO AOBA’S PAST, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE LEAD GIRL STARTS CRYING IN EXCESS]

Byakuya: Listen Aoba. Sakura is a very fragile flower with very fragile feelings so you must protect her from being hurt! Will you promise to shield her and protect her from harm? Will you?!

Aoba: Sure I will!

Me: AHAHAHAHAH oh the irony of the ages.

[BACK IN PRESENT, IN FIELD OF LOVE]

Aoba: When you have a girl tearing up and ranting about her angst and love problems the obvious solution is to make out with her!

Me: … I see why you and Fujimurasaki are related now.

Aoba: Hear me out on the reason why I was such a douche! See, people told me you were immortal and stuff, and then I thought about how I much I loved you but I’m only mortal and I will die one day we will have to be apart! I couldn’t bear that thought so I tried to hurt you physically and emotionally instead! And I will tell all this in such a way to illustrate that this is most definitely not about my self-centered concerns with only considerations about my own feelings and totally about my love for you! But I will try to redeem my cowardly behaviour myself in your eyes by giving you my life letter!

Sakura: lolwhut?

Aoba; Look at it, my life letter means “to live” or “to be born”. I was chosen to be your fiancé because it would go well with your life letter and make your fate less harsh!

Sakura: Just like with Oumi and we all know what happened to her! I am moved by your compassion!

Aoba: In exchange for my every awesome life letter, I will now unfold the wrapped cloth thing you threw at me oh so many pages ago– whut horsetails!?

Sakura: It seems I must have ditched my many maids and friends back in the carriage in order to give these horsetails to you, don’t you like it?! =D

Aoba: …If I accept this do I get make out scene?

Sakura: Yes

Aoba: Alright then.

Sakura & Aoba: *makes out in the glorious fields of sakura blossoms and love*

SHK - bringing on the mack

[FUJI’S RESIDENCE]

Sakura: So yeah, you know how I was kinda engaged to Aoba but then accepted your proposal because I wasn’t sure of his feelings and you were nice to me? Well now Aoba told me he loves me so I changed my mind about our whole marriage thing.

Fuji: My man pride is so not hurt, for that marriage proposal was a joke!

Sakura and Aoba: Whut?

Fuji: Well, you see, Aoba here kinda lacks some balls so I thought it’d take a little competition on my part to get the action going. Clearly it worked.

Sakura: Oh, in that case, great! Bye~

Fuji demands the fangirl love

Fuji: My man pride is so not hurt, I only make angst face because the fangirls dig it.

Fangirls: Noooooooooooooo I’LL MARRY YOU

Fuji: Ah, my lady charms, I still gots it.

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4 Responses to “Sakura Hime Kaden Chapter 9: A Parody”


  1. 3 sylphalchemist December 8, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    I laughed so hard reading this post (and I’ve never even read this manga before XD). You did a great job describing the chapter!

    Favorite part:

    Fuji: My man pride is so not hurt, I only make angst face because the fangirls dig it.

    Fangirls: Noooooooooooooo I’LL MARRY YOU

    Fuji: Ah, my lady charms, I still gots it.

    Lol! c(>ω<)ゞ

    • 4 wingstodust December 8, 2009 at 11:43 pm

      First, yay you liked it and thought it was funny! 😀 Fuji makes me smile. Total manwhore, that one.

      Second, you should totally read SHK!! It’s crack of epic proportions, if you’re into the crazy. XD


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